The moment I started this memoir I was sucked in and wanted to know more about E.J. Koh and her family. They are a South Korean family who had been living in America for many years. Koh’s father received a job offer in South Korea so both her parent’s decided to go and leave 15 year old Koh and her older brother alone in California. This separation affected Koh deeply. While apart for about 6-7 years Koh’s mother wrote her letters to bridge the absence. At the time Koh didn’t have a strong grasp on the Korean language. Koh found the letter’s after many years and translated them for this memoir. Koh studied translation and poetry in college.
I was curious to know what it does to a teenager to not have parents around during such pivotal moments in their lives. Koh retreated inward and seemed to just drift along, feeling alone for much of her life. We also read very briefly about her eating disorder and suicidal thoughts. The complex emotions are no explored in detail and much is left to the readers interpretation.
There is history of the lives of her mother and grandmothers woven into this book so in some ways it didn’t feel like a true memoir. But I think understanding these stories helped shape our understanding of the author’s life. I loved that Koh found her calling in poetry which served as an anchor for her.
The book is very slim at only about 200 pages and I could have easily read many more about the complexity of Koh’s life. Overall I was very swept away by this memoir and would love to reread and examine it further. Koh’s writing is truly beautiful…
“Nobody loves you like your mother. Not your father, not your husband, and not your children. While your parents are alive, eat as much of their love as you can, so it can sustain you for the rest of your life.”
Thank you to Tin House for the gifted book. This in no way impacts my review. All opinions are my own.
Expected Publication: Jan 7, 2020 by Tin House